I ask myself

Photo: Tibu Borgstén

I sit with this unknown

suffering

as if it would be a person

who has followed my steps

for a while.

A while - I trusted it.

I let it be, and then one day 

and tried to touch it 

to find out if it was real

ore just one of "Those Things"

that happens and then 

ooze away.

This one doesn´t.

It sits right beside me 

not lightly like all the spirits

who are dancing around in the room.

No this one is like a flint

who has decided to follow me

to the end of  my time.

And I ask myself..

What is the lesson here?

Haven´t I suffered enough
or been good enough?

Maybe..
Maybe it will ooze away or
cleanses like a stain away
from my heart, 
when its lesson is done.

Until then

I sit with this suffering
carrying it around
as if it would be a person
friendly but unknown,
wrapped up into my chest
at this cold times
cold days
and cold hours.